Close encounters for a fee ...

I was thumbing through random web pages today when I came across the most ridiculous sales pitch I've ever read:

"Thousands of individuals are abducted by aliens each year.
If they won't contact you, contact us!"

This is the motto of Alien Abductions Inc., a company that claims to be able to implant a chip into your brain which when activated, will give you the full experience of what it is like to be abducted by extra-terrestrials. You think I'm joking? Here's a brief overview of the service they provide:

'Every one of us is unique.

Whether you are an experienced Ufologist seeking a different sort of insight into the possibilities that exist at the edges of our day-to-day experience, a science fiction fan with a desire to explore an exciting new approach to narrative, or simply an open-minded and inquisitive person, an Abduction Experience™ from Alien Abductions Incorporated has something exceptional to offer you.

Pick one of our stock scenarios or design one from scratch, choose a solo experience or bring friends and colleagues for a group Abduction Experience™; whatever your needs may be, the team at Alien Abductions Incorporated is ready to help you extend your belief system using safe and immersive techniques developed by some of the finest minds in the Scientific Community.

If you're not ready (yet) for the immediacy of memory implantation, come to our resort and research facility to take advantage of access to the Abductalizer, our Para-abductology library, and our award-winning on-campus restuarant! Conduct your own research in a supportive, informed environment, or just relax and enjoy the amenities—it's all up to you!

Browse our Web site for more information on our wide range of products and services, or contact us for answers to any questions that you may have.'

I must confess, Alien Abductions Inc. gave me a good hearty belly laugh until I realized that there are people out there who would pay for such a service. Scary.

'Whether your interest is cultural, scientific, or sensual…

Alien Abductions Incorporated can provide you with memories of an experience guaranteed to be unlike any other available on this planet!'

Wow! S'all I'm saying.
So if you're inclined to have a "sensual" experience with an alien, visit: http://www.alienabductions.com/

Please beam me DOWN Scotty! This is too much for me.